HI MISS ALICE ✩

So I'm often walking through the casino on the way to work, and tourists/random people are looking at my uniform with the Cirque du Soleil crest, and my badge.
One of the most common questions I get:
"What do you do for Cirque?"
And my most common answer (with a very serious expression):
"I'm a Snake Charmer."

Or earlier today, "So, what do you do in the uhh.. Circus de.. Soil?"
"Hmm? I'm the Bearded Lady."

No, I don't do flips, the splits, climb walls, or fly.
You won't see me in the performance (I wear black so that I DON'T show up). But I work, very very hard.
Sometimes when I get home, I fall asleep sitting up on the couch, and I drool all over myself.

And you know what? I couldn't be happier.

My thoughts have been quiet recently. Its the sound of walking on dry leaves. Its kismet.

There's this running joke, that when I'm asked a question, I answer No - especially when its inappropriate.
"What are you drinking?" "No."
"What's your name?" "No."
My friends send me messages like "What are you up to?" and I reply with No. They seem to think its funny.

I'm a private person, so I am also fond of telling preposterous lies.
"What do you do?" "I'm a Princess."
"Where do you live?" "In a castle."

I go out alone sometimes, because I don't want to go home. I have a single drink and sit by the stone fireplace with my legs curled up in front of me.
When the dj starts, I get up and dance alone. I close my eyes and feel the music. It drowns out everything and everyone. Its a small sort of happiness.
I don't talk to anyone if I can help it, unless one of my childhood friends find me. (its happened a few times, its a small world)
It actually really offends me when guys approach me - I'm not there to meet men at a bar. How fucking dare they hit on me. I'm a lot meaner than I look.
I go home alone. I like being alone.
Being alone is better than being with the wrong person.

FOREVER ALONE
LIKE A BOSS

Recently, I stay logged into messenger on Facebook all day everyday. I hardly ever chat with anyone on there. I just like to watch everyone else log in and out. I watch people come and go. I can see when is the last time they were active on FB. And the ticker shows me what they do.
Kinda like people watching, only way more passive and way more creepy.

* grins *

Oh and hey, don't look directly at the sun.
Do as I say, not as I do!


[The sunrise, as seen from my doorstep]

Posted 31 July 2011:
"Who is awesome enough to get thrown out of a bar at their highschool reunion for being too drunk? ME!"

Overall, it was a great night (until I got thrown out). I wore school colours, teal and silver - go LVA! Woo! I got free drinks (my friend Tiffany knocked me in to the pool, seriously, who actually does that?). And I got to see lots of old childhood friends and acquaintances.
Dorky Dave drank till he dropped, literally, he totally fell out of his chair.
And the photographers enjoyed taking pictures of me dancing and acting a fool. A miserable wet fool - thanks Tiffany!
Everyone was amazed at how I hadn't changed at all since school. Which I have to admit, was the most perfect reunion I could have imagined.

Today, I'm going to spend the day packing and preparing to leave the city that I have lived in 2/3 of my life. I'm sorting all my belongings in to two piles - TAKE and GIVE AWAY. Its heartbreaking, but at the same time, exulting. I feel relieved and elated to be rid of material belongings, to move on with a chance at a clean slate, and a fresh start.
I have often found myself saying to other people who had cried at me about losing their phone, breaking their computers, ripping their new pants, etcetera, "They are just things."

I'm excited for this leap to an overbearingly religious city, with a stinking cesspool of a lake (see previous post). No, I really mean it.
I recently read an interview of a SLC fashion designer, "I don’t have to wear couture. I don’t have to have the latest. I’m not superficial about it. What I love is the artistry of it. Clothing is just what people put on their bodies to keep from being naked, to keep their butts from scraping on rocks when they sit down…but fashion is what you have to say about it, expressively and responsively."
Word.
Most fashion falls in to two base categories: utility (cover, modesty, or protection from elements), and for identity (uniforms and corporate apparel). The third is beauty (something with no purpose other than vanity), and sadly, not as popular.
What really tickled me - "I took my mom’s square dancing petticoat, sewed giant sequins all over it, and wore it to school once. I think the kids told me it was the “devil’s clothes”."
Check out her store here: Haus of Mirth or drop by Unhinged, 1121 E. 2100 S in Sugarhouse (free parking in back).