alice789: (blush)
Sometimes I feel like I take a few steps forward only to be knocked back. Perhaps fate or the universe strikes us down on occasion just to put the good in perspective. To make us truly grateful for those peaceful days.
Despite this, I've never been happier. I've also never been so insanely busy. My pretty queenly ambition knows no bounds.
I am the whirlwind.

Everything around me ages. I feel like I am standing still while the flood of time rushes around me.
I stare up at the stars. Goodnight, my love.
I whisper against his neck sometimes, while he is sleeping. He smiles, even when he's not awake. I think he knows how precious he is to me. Its been one year and four months.
alice789: (windy)
I seem to lose track of time, of the days, so very easily now. Its all a blur.
It keeps me sane.

I met the owner at a lion's den rehearsal. Or stumbled into him, rather. The most important person in the entire company and I was wearing a frumpy dusty sweaty jacket. And he smiled at me - a sweet smile. Genuine. He was once a clown. He was a stilt walker and a fire eater.
Cirque was once a troupe of street performers.
I never let go of my dreams. I won't ever give up. I won't back down.

I have love, and I suppose that is all you really need.
My beau - sometimes he tells me that he dreams about me. And I smile for days.
alice789: (kicking ass)
I returned to work on the FW 2013 collection today. I realize that I need proper fabrics and embellishments for these pieces. I need to plan a trip. I start making lists on sticky notes.

I am filling in the 30th specification sheet for the day when I look up and make a really angry face. I grab my phone and send Ernest a message. "You suck. Call me back, you stupid bitch."
Yes, this is the manner in which I address my dearest friends, coworkers, and business partners. You can ask any of them, they know. I am soft-spoken, but completely belligerent. I'm not sure why or how this came to be. I've been like this, as far back as I can remember.. Hmm..

When I am distracted by meandering thoughts or feel like I'm dwelling too much on some specific memory, I write. I keep a hidden journal, where I vent all that uncertainty and introspection. It doesn't always make sense, but neither does my pattern of thought. A lot of it is esoteric.
As I've been told, I have an artistic temperament. I think sometimes that immense power of observation - it makes too much noise in my head.

5 weeks ago, while on the subject of purposeful recklessness, I said, "I think sometimes, when you hold back - if you don't just go for it - you miss out."
You miss every shot you don't take.
Which is why I am the incomprehensibly persistent ass that I am. Its why I am loyal to a fault. And why if I fall short or fail, I get back up and try again. And again.
alice789: (Sharon and Break)
Today I punched the poor beau in the stomach. Harder than I had meant to. I immediately felt bad.
I believe I had mentioned upfront that I wasn't very girly, but sometimes my behavior is appalling even to myself.
Je suis vraiment désolé Scott. S'il vous plaît pardonnez-moi.

I've been busy culling the weaker pieces from my 2013 FW Collection. I called Ernest to talk about the beading on a few particular items and possibly drafting something of his own inspiration. All I heard was his wailing, "I've been planting cactuses FOREVER. ALL OVER THE PLACE. The tire on the wheelbarrow is totally flat! I thought this would take 2 hours, but NO, THERE ARE STILL CACTUSES EVERYWHERE."
LOL! I told him to call me back when he was done.

I think some of the last storm clouds that had been hovering overhead have finally cleared out.
The weather was so lovely today. The frozen world is melting, and the lamb has become more sapient drinking of the spring.
alice789: (kicking ass)
"Are you afraid of me?"
"Why would I be afraid of you?"
"I'm not sure, that's why I asked."

I think its really funny when a guy answers a question with another question - that doesn't answer my question.
Talking in circles = communication FAIL = really funny. Maybe this is why I'm an artist.
alice789: (windy)
Scott - tu me dois un appel téléphonique lorsque vous avez fini de se masturber.
alice789: (windy)
I've gotten surprisingly vicious on this dating website.
I've deleted all but 4 messages in my inbox. (I had a few hundred)
One from someone I really really like, but I imagine we have reached an impasse and are unable to focus on a relationship. Despite this, I daresay I'm smitten.
One from a childhood friend, who messaged me when I showed up on his matches - He wrote "LOL, What's up?" To which I replied, "Shut up."
And two from local artists and photographers that sound like decent connections to keep.
UPDATE - I simply shut down my profile, there was no use for it anymore.

I've been sewing beads on to collars for several hours straight every day, all this week. The first collar, being the trial-and-error piece, caused me some grief. I misplaced one of the eyes, by about 3mm. I realized my mistake after I had finished beading the entire face, and after careful deliberation of whether or not I wanted this fox to look exceptionally derpy, I decided to fix it.
Then I was faced with the dilemma. I didn't want to tear out the surrounding beads, as the string would have undone a great deal of work I didn't want to remove and redo. So I broke them away instead, leaving the string beneath. Glass beads are easy to shatter with pliers or sturdy scissors.
I moved the eye, and only lost a few beads in the process.
I really really love this piece, and can't wait for it to be finished. I contacted a few photographers about taking some pictures for my portfolio and for my store, next week.

January is coming to a close, and I feel like this has been one of the best starts to a new year I could have asked for.

May 2014

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About Me:

New friends and/or lurkers are always welcome. ❤

I grew up in Coronado, California, and the ocean is something I truly miss. I love perfumes, flowers, pastels and muted colours. I love to watch anime, play games, read books, eat sweets, and drink ice cream floats.
Despite liking really girly things, I don't consider myself an exceptionally girly person.
I get a huge boner for Baroque music.

If you have a request or question, send me a message, or comment on any post.

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